1.86

Once the Bruins win the cup and people forget hockey exists until next years playoffs, this man will be the headline of every Boston newspaper.  Why? Because he is having, historically, one of the best seasons in Red Sox history (knock on wood).  In 2000, Pedro had an era of 1.74 for the entire season… and that’s the only time, aside from a couple other from Pedro, that I’ve seen someone in a Sox uniform more dominant than Beckett.  I just looked up the game log for Pedro’s 2000 season, and on this date in 2000 Pedro had a 0.99 era (excuse me?).  Beckett’s dropped to 1.86 after he just finished up his shutout of the Rays.

But can we just think about Pedro for a second?  0.99!! That means he’d let up less than one run per nine innings….absurd.  My man Josh is off to a really good start and is pitching better then ever.  I hope he’s not trying to compete with that magical Martinez season because that’s virtually impossible.  If he keeps pitching like this, and we keep hitting like this, they’ll be another parade in Boston….one that I’ll actually go to.

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Dollar Stores are Awesome

So I was thinking about my childhood today and all the awesome times I would have in the summer. One of my favorite weeks was always when my family would rent out a beach house in Rhode Island. Every day consisted  of some sort of combination of the Beach, boogey-boarding, wiffleball, playing at the park, mini-golf, and ice cream at night. In addition to the sweet activities mentioned above, my cousin and I would always wander down the street to an AWESOME DOLLAR STORE where we would stock up on all the best candies and junk foods imaginable. The 3-foot pixie sticks were my personal favorite.

My cousin and I would always cover for each other when one of us was short. Some days I’d be craving another giant pixie stick, and some days he’d be feigning for an extra bag of cotton candy.

– “Hey man, can I borrow a dollar and I’ll get you back tomorrow??”

– “Yeah man, no problem”.

Well thank God we weren’t childhood friends with LeBron.

– “Hey LeBron, can you spot me for a Giant Cherry pixie Stick?”

– “Um, here you go”….

– “LeBron, this is only 75 cents?”

– “Yeah sorry, I DON’T HAVE A FOURTH QUARTER”.

HAHAHA.. See what I did there??

CONGRATULATIONS TO: THE DALLAS MAVERICKS! 2011 NBA CHAMPIONS!!

ALSO CONGRATULATIONS TO: DIRK, CUBAN, BRIAN CARDINAL, AMERICA, AND ALL GOOD HUMAN BEINGS AROUND THE WORLD!!

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Lebron’s Kryptonite

For those of you who haven’t heard anything about the Deshawn Stevenson-Lebron James feud, Deshawn pretty much called Lebron overrated…which is hilarious coming from none other than Mr. Stevenson.  But does he honestly think he’s better then LBJ? No.  He’s just messing with the poor guy who seems to crumble whenever the spotlight gets put on him.  It’s almost comical how much he has disappeared in the fourth quarters’ of the the last few games.

But anyways, I’m not writing this to just bash on Lebron’s performance (well, kind of).  I’m here to call this poor bastard a hypocrite.  Back to the whole Stevenson thing, once he called the Queen overrated, Lebron seemed to take the high road, saying that the Heat don’t participate in any of that trash talking…HAH.

But how about Lebron?  After Stevenson pulled the same shit in ’08 while in Washington (and Lebron in Cleveland), Lebron came out and called Stevenson Soulja Boy, and referred to himself as Jay-Z.  (For any of you old-timers out there reading this, Jay-Z has been recognized as one of the greatest rappers ever, while Soulja Boy is considered a joke…which he is….but I still enjoy him…kind of like Stevenson actually…guess little Bron Bron nailed that one on the head huh?) Well Prince James, in sticking with rapping comparisons, we might as well dish out a few more names.  For instance, D-Wade would probably be Biggie Smalls considering Lebron is all over both of their nuts.  Jason Terry might be like a 50 cent/Lil Wayne type.  By that I mean that he’s not the greatest (and has produced plenty of garbage) over the years but when they really try to do something they deliver…like “Get Rich or Die Tryin,” “The Drought 3”, or “draining a game-clinching three right in Lebron’s grill.”

But best for last…if Lebron James is Jay-Z, then Dirk Nowitzki is Nas.  SUCK ONE, Lebron.

(Excuse the language)

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Where Are They Now?…Starring Eric Crouch

For those of you who don’t know who that beautiful man is above, it’s 2001 Heisman trophy winner Eric Crouch.  Despite receiving the Heisman, he still did not have the skill set to make it in the NFL.  Which again proves why I would be a horrendous NFL scout because I would, more or less, have had Crouch at the top of my draft board.  Although I do recall him being one of the worst Heisman winners’…but that’s besides the point.  Most winners of this prestigious award turn out to be huge busts.  I don’t get it.  Moving on.

But this post isn’t about bashing the one time Nebraska pride and joy, it’s about encouraging him during his latest comeback.

Real funny, jerk-off.  Let’s give the poor guy some credit huh?  If Maurice Clarett was given a shot to resurrect his career in the UFL, why can’t Crouch?  If Jeff Garcia and Daunte Culpepper got to be a part of the “UFL’s biggest game ever”, then why can’t Crouch have a shot?  As far as I’m concerned the UFL is just where has-been’s and never-will-be’s go to relive their glory days…unless the NFL is locked out, in which case the UFL will be the hottest ticket in town.

So, Eric Crouch, save me a seat on your bandwagon….and may God have mercy on your soul.

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Having Deadlines is Really Cramping My Style, Man

Call me new-fashioned, but I much prefer writing at my own pace. Also I’ve written two NBA mock first rounds in the last week. How could they expect my views to change that much in a week?

Slideshows are the devil.

I’ll try to do more on this soon.

#Journalism-ism

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Gimme’ Some Plax

After serving a ridiculous and unnecessary 20 month prison sentence, my boy Plax is a free man.  (Have I talked about this before?…how it’s completely idiotic that he was locked up for 20 months for shooting himself and Donte Stallworth got 23 days after running over someone?  So stupid.)  As you can see, his phone is already blowing up with potential suitors to help resurrect his playing career.  One of those phone calls better be from Big Billy Belichick.  We desperately need a deep threat to replace Randy Moss, so who better then a guy who’s going to be playing with an f-you attitude the whole season?  If there’s a man in the league who wants to prove he’s still got something left, it’s Plax…especially with the success of Mike Vick.

Now I never fully understand Belichick’s system, but I hope he does the right thing here.  Actually scratch that, I don’t know a goddamn thing that goes trough Belichick’s mind.  But as long as we keep winning it’s fine with me.  Like, how do you trade the very pick that selected Mark Ingram for a pick next season?  Whatever.  You know what to do Billy.  Don’t let Plax team up with Vick in Philly, because that could just get silly.

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Keep the Faith

LET THE FINALS BEGIN!

So the Series is tied and the Mavs just won Game 2 in what can be considered no less than a miracle. I can only hope tonight is a sign of God responding to my nightly prayer from last week. Walking on Water… Feeding thousands of people with a few loaves of bread and fish…. Down 15 points with 7 minutes to go…. DIRK STRIKES AGAIN!

So here’s the question I want you all to honestly think long and hard about:

Dirk Nowitzki or Jesus Christ?? 

Dirk put the icing on the cake by dropping the Maverick’s last 9 points. On the final possession of the game, Dirk immediately took control of the ball. The entire Heat defense and anyone else with a pulse knew who was taking the last shot. Despite all five Miami defenders focusing on the Giant German, Dirk still managed to take the ball to the hole and dominate.

But How? But Why? Because “It don’t matter to me! It don’t matter to the Jesus!” Dirk used a high arching left-handed layup to strike the Heart (I mean Heat) with a final blow.

P.S. – Yeh that final bucket was with his left hand…. You know, the one with a torn tendon.

Double P.S. – That headband kinda looks like a halo. Just saying.

KEEP THE FAITH! IDWT!!!

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