That was 2004? Damn..time flies. So to keep my mind off this disgusting Randy Moss trade, I’ve decided to vent about the MLB playoffs. But Dave, why would I watch the playoffs? The Red Sox aren’t even in it! If that’s what you said, then shame on you. Although the grueling 162 game schedule wears out even some die hard fans, the playoffs are where it all comes to life. Playoff baseball is so intense because any series can be altered by one swing of the bat. I love it. Plus I still have the Yankees to root against…that’s always fun. So without further ado, I’ve picked the winner of each series and why I think so. Realistically, I’m probably gonna get them all wrong. But it’s fun…so back off.
Rays vs. Rangers
Prediction: Rangers in 4.
Although the Rays have a better record and home field advantage, I think the Rangers are just a better team. They pretty much won the West in July, and have kind of coasted to the finish line. Their lineup is so deadly. With Josh Hamilton finally healthy and Vlad swingin’ like it’s 2003. I like their chances. O..and that Cliff Lee guys alright too.
Yankees vs. Twins
Prediction: Yankees in 4
As much as I’d love to see the Yankees exit in round 1, that’s not gonna happen. Wayyy too much fire power, and they’ve finally realized that A.J. Burnett is better off in rehab then in their rotation. Seriously..look at the tattoos on this guy. It’s ridiculous. For the Twins…I think no Justin Morneau is going to kill them. As much as I like Jim Thome, I’m not expecting much from him.
Giants vs. Braves
Prediction: Braves in 5
I’ll be honest, I don’t know much about either of these teams. Tim Lincecum is really good, right? But who’s even on this team? Pablo Sandoval just got benched, so now I REALLY have no idea who’s in this lineup. Not too mention winning the N.L. West is like being the toughest kid at a Star Trek convention. I think the Braves will win, just because it’s Bobby Cox'(Cox’s?, Cocks’?) last hurrah….and Jason Heyward is verrrry good.
Phillies vs. Reds
Prediction: Phillies sweep
O.K., Cincinnati. Jokes over. Why is this team even in the playoffs? Why is Joey Votto an MVP candidate? Who let this happen? I’m looking at you, Pujols. But yeah, the Phillies are the best team in the National League. It’s not even close. After Halladay’s brilliant performance today(Yeah, I’m doing these a game late..BACK OFF), they got Roy Oswalt who is, umm, one of the winning-est pitchers of this decade. Then Cole Hamels. No chance Cincinnati, sorry. But hey, you still have the entire Monday night lineup on Vh1 catching balls for you.
Rangers vs. Yankees
Prediction: Rangers in 7
That’s right, Texas all day. The Yankees pitching, even with Burnett out of it, still looks incredibly shaky. I predict both teams scoring in double digits at least 3 or 4 times in this series. My gut feeling led to this pick. But if you think it had nothing to do with being a Sox fan, then you are terribly mistaken. God I hope the Twins sweep them.
Phillies vs. Braves
Prediction: Phillies in 6
As much as I want to see Atlanta pull it off, the Phillies are just too star powered. They are too deep in so many ways…if you know what I mean. Three NL Pennants in a row? Could honestly be about twelve. These guys are still all in their primes, for the most part, and the NL is kind of like the minor leagues. So I would be shocked to see someone take them down this year, and the foreseeable future.
Phillies vs. Rangers
Prediction: Rangers in 6
I just love this team. I’ve always liked Texas. Especially the Steroid Era Rangers. The pre-Yankee A-Rod. The flying Puerto Rican brothers, Pudge and Juan Gone. That Palmerio guy who didn’t use steroids. Period. Just awesome. But this would simply kill Philly fans. Watching the guy they traded, Cliff Lee, defeat the guy they got, Roy Halladay, in the crucial game six would drive fans nuts. I don’t even want to imagine how hopped up Lee would be if they pulled this off. It’s just too bad the ex-addict Josh Hamilton won’t be able to celebrate the title appropriately. O hell, he probably will.
Well, that was way too long. If you read all the way to the bottom of this novel, then give yourself a pat on the back because you just earned yourself ten Schrute Bucks.